In life there will always be problems, challenges, vexations, whatever we choose to denote them as…stepping stones that we face. Some seem so large that we cannot seem to climb them, go around them or break them down.
I have always held belief in God, but I have never truly exercised that belief. Perhaps because my belief in God was one of pure reason. A world built in preciseness cannot be happenstance, nature with its ever so precarious balance could not have balanced on its own. Perhaps I know this because I am at my very core of existence a creator! I know what does and does not happen by chance. I can see order in seemingly chaos and beauty in the ugly.
It is from this order that I am certain God exists, and loves us. Or at least loves His creations! But is He truly all Good? Perhaps that is one thing that I have never known for sure about God. I have hope it is true….but I have not experimented the reality of His Good Nature. Not until recently however.
A close friend of mine understood some of my current challenges and struggles and offered the simple advice Pray! Pray? What an overly simplistic and yet appropriate response. It took me quite some time to abandon my pride and deeply pray for the specific help, aid, and desires I was in need of.
Why it was so painfully hard to admit to God that I needed these things is curious. I didn’t even ‘have’ to say them out loud. Perhaps it is because I often find myself using brilliant techniques of the faithless to focus. All of which have been a huge help to me. But then I remember something I know at my heart to be of the utmost truth….All good things are of God.
If a convict can paint a beautiful picture it is because like Darth Vader there is still good in him. There is the nature of God in all of us. (If I believe all of this you may wonder why I haven’t really prayed before) I do not know.
Whatever the reason, I have for the past two weeks abandoned my pride and my desires to change myself, and a few others around me and given the paintbrush back to God and allowed him to make the changes. Trusting for perhaps the first time in my life that God is ALL GOOD and what he does with the brush will be perfect and exactly what I didn’t know I wanted, but wanted oh so deeply.
You know the strange part. He DID! and He Does! Simple as that!
My advice when you are moving forward like a freight train, when you are doing everything possible to get where you want to be and yet there is still that little someting holding you back. Don’t run, Don’t walk, don’t even refocus your mind. (All of which work wonders most of the time.) But get on your knees and Pray! Spill the beans…all of them.
God is afterall bound by governing laws and he cannot aid the heard that does not WANT to change!
